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Incel Naruto Racing
Incel Naruto Racing is a kart racing game with an intricate story mode and some limited multiplayer functionality coming in the near future. It was initially released on the Bentendo Head Exploder and Ace Hardware Bargain Entertainment Console, with plans to be released soon on other platforms. The game follows Incel Naruto as he infiltrates and takes down a vast organized crime syndicate operating under the auspices of a world class kart racing league, though not specifically to fight crime. Along the way, players are treated to a rich story full of incredible characters crossing over from multiple franchises, taking place at racing circuits across the Fantendo universe. Incel Naruto Racing is the second installment of the Incel Naruto franchise. =Gameplay= After the opening cinematic, which is 2 hours long and unskippable, the player is treated to a series of tutorial races, starting with the basics and slowly moving up to time trials and then wheel-to-wheel racing with increasingly difficult opponents. After the player qualifies for and enters the league, they must complete races to earn points and money, both from race prizes and sponsorships. The money is used to upgrade, customize, and maintain the player’s kart and team, the points are required to qualify for the next race. Failure to maintain a viable racing team and kart, keep a minimum amount of money in the team’s bank, or qualify for the next race ends the game and the player must start over from the starting screen, just like in real life. The races themselves are standard kart racing, though some allowances are made for power ups and car features to be used during races. The tracks also each have unique hazards and features to challenge the player and opponents alike. Each race is between 80 and 100 laps (not including the 3-6 qualifying laps and up to 40 practice laps (players choose how many practice laps they wish to take, though they must take at least 5)). Each track varies in length but all are between 6 and 7.5 km long, and every race takes approximately 600 km of driving to complete. The average speed of each track varies from 175-200 km/h, therefore races typically take 3-3.5 hours; if a kart is damaged, however, it can lead to races that last longer than 6 hours as players must complete the race if their kart is in any way drivable, otherwise they will forfeit the race and fail to qualify for the next, thus ending the game. If the player’s team’s budget allows, spare karts can be maintained and used in races where the player’s kart suffers extensive damage. Pausing is not allowed during races. =Story= The story is long and complicated, with vital cinematics and cutscenes that are required viewing in order to understand the story, and are thus unskippable. The amount of just cinematic sequences and cutscenes in the game total just over 62 hours. Because the sheer amount of cinematics and cutscenes, they must be streamed from central game servers and thus the game requires a constant internet connection. Prologue The game opens with Incel Naruto, fresh from his victory in the International Golf Blitz, working his day job at the Yakuza Money Laundering Accounting Firm, LLC, where he digitizes falsified receipts for seemingly legitimate corporate purchases. Candace, his cubicle neighbor who Incel Naruto has secretly had a crush on for the last 3 years, congratulates him on his golf trophy. Incel Naruto then imagines this to be an ‘in’ and barges his way into her cubicle only to discover she is actually a fan of Totally Legitimate Kart Racing League (TLKRL) instead of golf as she originally led him to believe with her singular comment about his conspicuously displayed trophy. Incel Naruto spies a signed photo of Fax Backroom, the 2015 champion of the TLKRL, and is immediately devastated. He vows to Candace that he will defeat Fax, become the champion of TLKRL, and thus she will have no choice but to become his wife. Incel Naruto then loudly storms out of the building and recklessly drives his 2010 GMC Acadia Denali home, where he spends over an hour alternating between reading articles about impressing girls and professional kart racing. He eventually stumbles on a racing school, the Mackie Fisterson Institute of Infernal Chemistry and Kart Racing, and enrolls. The headmaster of the institute, Mackie Fisterson Jr, then begins teaching Incel Naruto how to race, only to find out he barely knows how to drive. The tutorial levels then begin. Chapter 1: TLKRL Proving Race Pulling some strings, and maybe concocting an unholy potion or two, Mackie Fisterson Jr gets Incel Naruto around the traditional requirements for earning a Super Kart License by setting up a tryout in front the chairman of the Totally Legitimate Kart Racing League, Steven Mafia. In a flashback, a meeting between Mackie Fisterson Jr and Steven Mafia is shown, where Mackie vets Incel Naruto, promising that he doesn’t pose a threat to the crime organization that underpins the league. The player then participates in a 300 km race against a test driver. The player must beat the test driver without any rule infractions in order to pass the proving race and earn a Super Kart License. After this, the player is free to practice at the proving track at any time between races. Chapter 2: TLKRL Season Premiere: Murder Canyon Death Race Prior to the race, the chairman, Steven Mafia, is seen shaking down shopkeepers in Murder Canyon for protection money. They can only pay him in food and trinkets, because during the rest of the year, Murder Canyon is a squalid turd of a town devoid of any prosperity whatsoever. Steven gleefully takes whatever they offer then defecates on the sidewalk in front of their shops. The amount of blood in the feces Steven leaves behind leaves the shopkeepers more concerned than disgusted. Prior to the race, Incel Naruto searches the garages for Fax Backroom, only to discover that he’s undergoing shoulder surgery due to an offseason crash. He finds the substitute driver, Bogan Dorby, and makes a confusingly vague yet physically impossible threat on Fax’s life when he tells Bogan to relay to Fax that, “if Fax tries to take my girl, let’s just say his spine will shrink to 1/40 of its original size.” Bogan is left confused and performs poorly during qualifying, leading Steven Mafia’s race manager, Squawk Robins, to confront him. Specifically he asks how Bogan was unable to make pole position in a rigged qualifying heat at which point Bogan reveals the confrontation with Incel Naruto. At first, Squawk is skeptical of the claim since Steven Mafia had personally approved Incel Naruto’s participation in the league; soon, though, he grows suspicious when he asks Steven Mafia about Incel Naruto and Steven refuses to discuss the matter. =Karts= The player initially races with the training kart from the Mackie Fisterson Institute, but must purchase another one after the proving race. *Dallara KDL-4NG *Lola K-3T *Renault FK-1NV *Ferrari SK-1D mk IV *McLaren AK-47 *Lotus Y-2K *Freightliner KU-M3 =Team Members= Prior to their first race, the player must choose a team consisting of engineers, pit crew, mechanics, spotters, analysts, and so forth. Choosing the best team ensures Incel Naruto has every advantage on and off the track. Managers *Donkey Kong - forceful, but insightful. Also able to lift heavy objects like barrels. *Donatello - A hideous, humanoid turtle that is also good at karate. *Senator Tim Kaine - quite busy with his political career but always wishes he could be there. Pit Crew Chiefs *Robbie Rotten - Mischievous, perhaps, but always almost gets the job done. *Siegfried - Used to tame tigers, now he tames pit crews *Giacomo Meyerbeer - a 19th century opera composer who’s only interested in composing quick pit stops Engine Mechanics *Wolverine - His adamantium skeleton and accelerated healing means skinned knuckles are no big deal. *Gadget Hackwrench - she can get down inside the valve covers and cylinders to fix anything. *John Egbert - Sure, why not? =Kart Parts= The player can upgrade their kart with special parts to add power, traction, downforce, or even special powers. Engine Parts *Titanium pistons *Inconel valves *Cold air intake *oilite bearings Tires *Pirelli P69 *Michelin Uni-2 *Cooper K2 Steering Wheels *Sparco *MOMO *Dorman Alternators *Denso *AC Delco Belt Alternator/Starter (Hybrid upgrade) *Durabrand Brakes *Brembo 4 piston hub mounted calipers *Dunlop inboard 12 piston axle mounted circumferential disk *Husqvarna internal hub coaster brakes Wheels *American Racing *Diamond Wheels *Cragar Front Wings *Moroso *Roush *Matrix Spark Plugs *NGK *Motorcraft *Bosch Spark Plug Wires *Moroso *Accel *MSD Ignition Spark Plug Boots *Granatelli *Holley *Taylor Cable =Hybrid Upgrades= These parts can give players an advantage by storing kinetic energy typically lost during braking which can then be used later to accelerate quicker. This also has the advantage of reducing braking and engine loads before, during, and after turns. The downside is increased weight and complexity. Energy Storage *Gyrotics Technologies Osmium+ flywheel *650 Sanyo Eneloop AAA NiMH batteries *UnbridledTec Fluiditics Labs H1 air compressor/turboexpander module Motor/Generator Unit *HyperKart T34 Electric CVT (eliminates the need for players to shift manually) *Williams-Korn differential mounted induction powerplant (lowest weight option) *Velocity Sports integral MoterWeel (retractable wheel that only contacts road surface during acceleration or braking; least complexity) =Reception= Initially the game was virtually unheard of on account of the studio and distributor both seemingly failing to market the game in any way before or immediately after release. As it turned out, the planned viral teaser campaign meant to hype the game was mistakenly scheduled to begin 6 months after the game was released, leading to confusion among the press and consumers, many of whom believed the campaign to indicate the imminent release of a sequel, even though the teaser media was backdated by 6 months. Another source of confusion was the fact that one of the teaser poster images was mistakenly used as the cover art for the game. The poster included no text other than the release date and the only imagery included was a silhouette of a steering wheel. The reverse of the box was unintentionally left blank. 2 months after the teaser campaign ended without any announcement, review copies were received by multiple media outlets (with the misprinted covers) along with a stack of 50 twenty dollar bills. IGN rated the game 9.6/10, despite not even knowing what the game was called. Other outlets actually played the game before reviewing it, and that was really the first time the world was made aware of the existence of Incel Naruto Racing =Controversy= Incel Naruto Kart Racing came under fire for its depiction of the Hmong people, suggesting they all have magical powers and that they roam the countryside kidnapping children. Developers eventually apologized, but due to an obscure, antiquated federal statute specifically discriminating against the Hmong, the developers were forced to leave in the offending cutscenes. Later, a bug was discovered that allowed players to unequip all character’s clothing, revealing spinning swastikas where the characters’ genitals should be. The developers again apologized and replaced the swastikas with spinning genitals. Shortly afterward, the game came under fire for another depiction of a minority group, this time for showing furries as being universally obsessed with meticulous keeping of financial books and documents. In a press release, the studio apologized for perpetuating the stereotype of furry accountants and added four more jobs available for furry characters: Talk show host, bounty hunter, welder, and sous chef.